Awed Divinity

As i look upon her
i am caught in a reverie
of unspoken beauty
cocooned in virgin nature.

I stand awed by
the absurdity of my life
in the magnanimity of her existence.

She exudes an aura
hailing gods to shame
reverence lies in her touch
purity in her soul.

I exist as a grain
of emptiness before her
wallowing in pity
of my flawed self.

Her body is my temple
her mind;my study
she is not mortal
for heavens beckon her.

She is all vanity
unfulfilled glory
her treachery treacherous
conjoined with cosmos.

God lies within her
heart pumping couplets
of sacred turbulence
gerontic of creation.

She exists as an anomaly
of divine perfection
ambrosia stimulating
her veinous web.

I am now lost
within her vortex
for it is fated
that i be liberated.

The Grain Of Thought

Unsuspecting lies the own self
quaintly personified in itself
euphoric in its true being
beckoning the illusions of mind.

Thoughts converge mightily
fusing into existence
bringing with them
a vacuum of disorder

The soul is manifested
swirling in the realm of flesh
elusive grains of a dark deed
impotent against the inner gods

Hope and fate
walk hand in hand
to rewrite what has been written
and to seek the lost cause

Chaos seems on the horizon
its dark wings
eclipsing the blinding future
shattering all myths of truth

Why I Write?

Despondency cries out to me,it calls me its own.I know my illegitimacy and i know where i stand.I no longer want to understand it,i just want it to end.Several years of multiple failings has scarred me.The joys of this world no longer appeal to me nor do i care to have them back.The only reason i mention my melancholy is in hope to lose it or envelop it completely.The beauty of pain lies in its constancy.Happiness is always short lived but grief lives on.Its existence is paradoxical for while it lives,you cannot live to the fullest.The question of existence is haunting,more so in the context of an existence that is scarred beyond recognition.If it was only a question of grief i would have cowed down but my life is one big deceit!I live life as a lie,so much so that i myself am unaware of my true self.I often contemplate about the past,hoping to find myself but unfortunately all i find are shimmerings of a lost life.Why do i write all this?Is to seek an answer or to exorcise my demons?In this daze of confused existence,all i have is my writing.

Dark Rage

Consumed by rage
thwarted by love
I walk alone
blinded by fury.

I know not how to control it
this darkness inside me.
I have lost reason
I have lost all joy.

I know what evil lurks in the hearts of men
For i have seen it in my own heart.
Dark,foreboding,full of sins
I live a life of lies.

I fear not the world
I fear not any god
All i have to fear
is my own self.

Time

The thing with time is
it flies like a wounded bird
Haltingly at moments of pain
swiftly at moments of joy.

I know not what time has in store for me
what is good and what is bad
The sun sets on the horizon
and night flies by.

The test of time
is a harsh one.
The mightiest have fallen
the boldest have fled

If you take my word
even gods have feared its wrath
And man is all but dust.

Bloody Hell

Pain,anguish and fury
Three words that define the existential man
That define loss and pain
Hollowness and Asymmetry.

When you are on the edge
When you turn to rocknroll to soothe you
When you have your first snort
When you have your first shot
When you fall into the abyss called love.

I know this feeling
I know it bloody well
Like being euphoric and numb at same time
Like being shot at the moment of realization.

It all bloody adds up doesn't it
U bloody wish
Fate it seems has a sense of ironic humor
And you bloody pay for it.

You think you have it all
and wham life hits you
Bloody clean shot
I pity you all.

The jokes on you
God's unwanted children,eh
Young and hopeless
Bloody jokes on you.

Run wherever you bloody want
life will get you
sooner or bloody later.

Kashmir

She burns like cinder on a cold night
each day fueled with hate.
Since the day her mother was divided
she is paying the price.

She is on fire
she stands divided.
Some burn her in the name of god
some in the name of land.

Each day brings grief
each moment pain.
Troy burnt in a day
she forever burns.

Her tears are silent
her heroes dead.
People killing
people dying.

She was once beautiful
that was her curse
Her face launched a thousand nations
the war goes on.

She shall rise once more
in all her glory.
Like a phoenix
she shall heal it all.

I will avenge her,
i will bring her back.
She has been a whore too long
but her kingdom awaits her.

With flawless beauty
and a child's innocence
She shall return
and paradise will be regained.

Bliss A tribute to Donne

The sun rays fall on her naked body
her sweat glistening like pearls.
I crawl up beside her
my lips upon her.

She gives a soft shudder
as i reach for her.
Her lashes are drawn
her gaze coy.

I look in her eyes
and see innocent love.
As we embrace
her fears are gone.

The grass feels soft
nature is with us.
I plant another kiss
upon her lips.

She is now bold
her pace increases.
I am at her mercy
a cold sweat upon me.

She is young and pure
like fallen snow.
Yet she knows the game
a twinkle in those fiery eyes.

Now as dusk settles
and our bones ache.
I stand and take her hand
to walk away from the forbidden land.

God is in her beauty
God in her touch.
I see a passing dove
as a symbol of my true love.

Truth

Don't cry on my shoulder
I will not wipe your tears.
Your tenderness will not melt me
I will not break.

I won't hold your hand and walk with you
I won't cherish any dreams
For me your existence is a void
Yours charms won't work
I see through you.

The rain won't make any difference
nor shall spring.
I know not how to love
an emptiness fills me up.
The planets play havoc.

Don't wait for me
I shall never return
once gone
forever gone

Our worlds are different
I dwell in darkness
you in light.

I am not what i seem
far from truth
I spin a web of deceit all around
Hell is my heaven

Darkness forever envelops me
rendering me impotent
I have no feeling
a dark numbness is upon me

My words are lies
my actions sins
I know i am wrong
but there is no way back.

You believe I'll change
how wrong are you
I am not loyal to my blood
yet you trust.

Leave me alone
for i am a disease
i feed on happiness
grief is my domain.

I see the world
as dark as night
the chaos lies within me
so does the cure.

I am a fallen angel
evil dwells within me
No good can come from me
No happiness ever.

My words are my crime
I talk in puzzles
i am god's mistake
I am the devil's pride.

Question

I know not how to live
without thoughts in my mind.
I see everything in a different light
each moment a puzzle.
I have been told not to think too much
but therein lies my existence.

My desires are few
yet far away in some distant land
my thoughts lie.
I search for the truth
my hand stretched out
my eyes searching.

I do not know the end
I know not the beginning.
life is puzzling.
but with my end near
i shall sleep with peace