Confessions of a Beleagured Mind------Part Three

Part two is here

"Why did you kill your father",asked the lean,thoughtful police officer sitting in front of me with composed authority.Anurag Chaubey,IPS.The name sounded strangely familiar.The police had arrived about fifteen minutes after the peon had rushed in hearing Mrs Irani's scream."I can't help you if you say nothing",he continued.I looked at him indifferently.He looked at me inquiringly.The bulb shone brightly on my face in the small,dingy room.I could hear a fly buzzing around and i wondered where it was."Listen,boy,you are in some serious shit,you just don't know it yet,you think some hot shot lawyer will get you out.You are mistaken.You have been caught red handed on the scene of crime.Don't make me try a different approach.Now,why did you murder him?",Inspector Chaubey then stood up and gave me a patronizing glance.I looked at him and said"Can i have a cup of coffee,please."He looked surprised but said nothing.He left the room and returned two minutes later with a steaming cup of hot coffee in a shabby looking mug.I drank deeply,savoring each drop with life clinging affection."I admit to my crime.I killed my father or rather my mother's husband.I killed him because i had to.I don't care what happens now.",I said quietly.Perhaps it was the way i said it but i felt his eyes boring into mine,trying to unmask my soul."Your statement is recorded and will be used against you in court.Is there anything you wish to add?"."I would like to finish my coffee before you take me anywhere".I smiled.

My case was forwarded to a fast track court.Since i had admitted to my crime,i was not given a death sentence but rather life imprisonment.My face was splurged on every newspaper in the nation.Debates were held about morality and the inevitable decline of family values.My relatives came from far and away.They came with seething anger and a scathing tongue.I was abused with cuss words every moment fate gave them.A shoe was thrown on my face during the court proceedings by my father's favorite cousin.My humble request to light my father's pyre was rejected by family elders.Our family lawyer visited me and told me that i was now the owner of my late father's legacy.Sixty Seven crores worth of land,factories,cash deposits and what not.It was now all mine.I met one of my uncles after a humble request to Anurag Chaubey."Why have you called me here,you lowly piece of garbage.I,I celebrated,I danced the day you were born.I wish i had strangled you then.What sort of son are you?",he half said,half shouted.He would have continued had i not interjected,"Do you want the money my father left me?".He shut up and looked at me.I looked back."What sort of sick game are you playing now?".I looked back,a small smile playing on my lips."Everything i own will now be yours.I want you to comply to two of my requests.Firstly,I want to be transferred to the worst prison possible.I want to be tortured and beaten.My life should become hell.Let the sexually abuse me,let them bring upon me dark deeds unheard of.Make me suffer.Make me weep.Secondly i want you to burn down every possession my late mother owned.Everything.Do this and you can have everything.",i said in a tone of cold authority.He abused me,threatened to have me shot but finally agreed.He left with numb disbelief at my demands.I relaxed.

My demands were met.The money was transferred.I was beaten everyday without fail.The guards took care that i did not fall unconscious because of the severity of their beating.Cold water,inhumanly frigid was thrown on my face.It felt like being hit by a frozen block of ice.Still the tears would not come.I was raped by frustrated,deviant men who did unmentionable things with me.I ate little,drank much and meditated the whole day.In the evening,the guards would come and the ordeal would begin again.I suffered from hallucinations,often waking up in the night,screaming at unsaid horrors.But gradually my screams lessened and i began to steel myself against the tortures that would never stop.An year passed.Then another too passed.In the third year,I had a visitor who would change everything.