Secrets Under Wooden Floors

I

Scissored

Bleeds in a corner

My soul, my soul, my soul

And you sip warm tea

On an empty morning.

'Can't find Sahib anywhere, Memsahib'

'Can't find him anywhere....'

I am giving up

You can come out now

I will always lose at Hide and Seek

Always lose.

'Must we call the Police, Ram Singh?'

'Must we?'

I looked at you the first time

Last time I looked at you.

Were you born this pretty?

I have to ask your mother.

'Sahib was a good man'

'Make some tea, will you?'

II

I wanted to cradle you

Before I went away.

I wanted, I wanted and I wanted.

My memory with you.

The man with nobody

Lived with his family

Occasional friends

Spoke occasionally.

'He would never commit suicide, Memsahib.'

'He used to hunt after all.'

Struggle with me a bit

Lie next to me

Live my life for a moment or two

Hold my hand and make me weep.

'Bade Sahib is coming back from London'

'Make arrangements, and make some tea.'

Meet me tomorrow at seven

I have to kiss you

I have to tell you that I, poet extraordinaire, loves you

Loves you, loves you, loves you.

III

'My son, my son, what have ye done?'

Ladies and Gentlemen, a small hiatus for the dead

I bring you, 'Much Madness is divinest Sense' by Emily Dickinson

Much Madness is divinest Sense —

To a discerning Eye —

Much Sense — the starkest Madness —

’Tis the Majority

In this, as All, prevail —

Assent — and you are sane —

Demur — you’re straightway dangerous —

And handled with a Chain — 

'My son, my son, what have ye done?'

'Have some tea, Daddy ji, have it before it turns cold.'

I liked to twirl you hair

When you slept

We even had names

For two Daughters.

IV

I want you to call a Doctor

My memory, my memory, my memory

Betrays me.

And often, just like you.

'The world is not the same without him, Memsahib'

'Your loyalty shall be rewarded, I'm sure he's watching over you.'

I suspect that I love you more

Than you love me.

I don't mind, I honestly don't.

I just like to love you.

Ain't love a bitch?

How often you used to say that,

Especially when we made love quietly.

Not to wake my parents.

'Ram Singh, Ram Singh, where have you disappeared?'

'Where is everybody?'

'Why are all the lights off?'

'Why?'

Whimper, whimper, whimper.