Sunday, December 20, 2009

Prince Paradox

I deceive the world at large.Its what i do.I sit in a corner and read Dorothy Parker hoping i could go back and sit with her all day long in a motley coffee shop.I deceive myself too.Its really not that difficult.I spin yarns and tell tall tales of both conquest and loss.I keep my audiences engaged.I tire myself for their joy.I am a performer,a deceiver and a liar.

It is an entirely different matter that i don't see them as lies.They are pieces of genius strewn across the world in lingual manifestations of art.I indulge.I create.Fantasies flow from my fingertips,the world is my stage and i,its improviser.I am,as i say,a world class liar.But i almost never lie for myself,I lie for the world.I lie to maintain order in a world full of anarchy.I am the silent superman.

People love me,i say what is needed.I light up their lives while i extinguish mine.I speak words without meaning.To confess love is same as ordering coffee.Words are all i have in this world.My soldiers.My mercenaries.My love.Words.

It scares me what i can do.I can play with lives,with happiness,with sorrows and anything i want to.I am no one's truth.I am my own opponent.Only i can defeat myself.I am both light and darkness.I love this world but my contempt for it is unmatchable.I am Wilde's student,Genet's slave and Dostoevsky's admirer.

I have a mind of a child.Incalculable wisdom.I want the universe in my palm.I want nothing.I want a nice meal with the view of crematoriums and stench of burning flesh.I believe in nothing.I believe in myself.I negotiate with morals.I revel in their existence.I smile to charm and disarm.I am tired of my being but truly,i am just getting started.