Tuesday, December 30, 2008


The battle cry is out
my war has begun
my blood is not on fire
as i hoped it would be
rather indifference has taken over

They say it is going to be alright
what do they know
what do they care
I know i am not coming back

Now it is dark
soon it will be day
as my breath ends
what are the last words that i should say?

Now that i am gone
peace is back
the land seems quiet
ha,my death was in vain
but let that be the end of it

Monday, December 29, 2008


The wound lies deep
in the very heart of my soul
I never want it healed
its pain makes me strong

Hell is on my side
I am the devil

When my time comes
the sky shall turn red
black rivers shall flow
man would hunt man

I shall reign in this chaos
The Prince of Darkness
would bow before me
and all that is pure shall forever end thee.

They said my name would be remembered for years to come
They said i was destined for greatness
but the dark side was too tempting

It came like a wave of sweet pain
like i was back in a womb again
i lost my god that day

But no frown ceased on my brow
i felt exulted
i was free
i was nature's own animal

But all that is now past
I am now at the edge
the drop seems endless
like the demons within me

I shall not beg for mercy
for my blood is not on my side
i never meant all this to happen
but it happened nevertheless

Now my time has come
the story ends now
my last breath beckons
but like a phoenix
I shall rise again.

Spark of Death

Chaos is within me
I know that now
But is it too late
for the river to flow again

I see the world through troubled eyes
With grief and pain
Startling images of death
Now are within me

I am coming for blood
No code of conduct
No laws to bind me

I have embraced the other side

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Great ambition and conquest without contribution is without significance. What will my contribution be? How will history remember me?Or will it ever remember me?I am haunted by these questions,each night is a blur of dark visions,of dark musings,ha.I could do more then that.Each time i reach a place,i find footsteps already there.My loss is in my heart,in the dark blanket of my soul.I desire all that exists,all that is pure and for mine to taking.All these words i don't just say,i need them all,i need to win and i will self destruct if i don't.I am a bottle bubbling with narcissism,my doom shall overtake my glory.

I walk alone
they say with a swagger

I hunt alone
they say i am an animal

I stand divided
my heart coiled

Monday, December 22, 2008


I know i don't say it,
but i hope that you know
that if i could ever love
then you are the one

Words fail me
when i look in those deep eyes
my mask slips
and i stand bare

You have changed me
you have set me free
I was wrong
in hiding myself
forgetting that;
true beauty lies in the free butterfly
while all this time
i lay as a cocoon

Now the time has come
when love shall set me free
when the breeze shall blow again
when birds shall chirp again

And I owe it all to you


Mirror,Mirror on the wall
Who is this,the most similar of all
She knows me well
She knows it all

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Who is this,who knows it all?

I haven't met her once
Nor heard her voice
But someting tells me
I too know her all.

She is same as me
thats the real reason of my glee
She seems nice
would'nt care less even if she had a vice

Oh mirror mirror on the wall
This seems like happiness
even if a bit small.
Oh mirror mirror on the wall
don't play with me
Just tell me all

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Final walk

The flame was lit
the word had spread
my cuffs were blue,my wrists were red
my crime was none i could remember

i smiled at my men
they let out a howl
i smiled with a twinkle
and darkness eloped me

the crowds fell silent
for i had broken the glass
shards had flown
and blood had flown

Judas had been quick
escaped without my blood
i had lost my body
but the curse was lifted

i now walk to death
hand in hand with my glory
i shall lose the last of my breath
but a thousand more shall finally breath

Saturday, September 6, 2008

To Have Succeeded

To laugh often and love as much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give one’s self;
To leave the world a little better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch,
Or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived

This is to have succeeded.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Rudra-The Beginning

Rudra was born on a sleepy morning in the quiet village of Jhang.His birth coincided with the start of the holy month of Ramadan.Sweets were distributed in neighboring houses and fire crackers were burst.His mother Banto Kaur was a famous singer and often sang at village festivals,her popular song Mera Pind always resulted in a standing ovation so it was no surprise when half the village turned up to congratulate her.Naming her son Rudra was not her idea but her husband had insisted.Gurcharan was a soldier in the British Indian Army and was a hulk of a man.Once during war,a fellow company man by the name of Rudra Kumar had saved his life by taking a sniper bullet.That one act of heroism had made Gurcharan a better man and he decided to name his son Rudra after the great soldier.

Rudra grew up to be a handsome young boy and was enlisted into the army by his father when he turned sixteen.He joined the the 16th Rajputana Rifles and began his way into the world.The year was 1946.India would be independent in an year.

Rudra:"Oye Khotya,Don't waste bullets.Atleast kill one without using up the whole magazine."

Avtar smiled sheepishly and answered,"Not everyone can shoot like you ."

"Well then there is no need to come hunting with me,you only distract me and i wish to enjoy my holidays in peace." answered Rudra to his childhood friend.

"Trying to behave like an officer already,well as you please,I am going."

Rudra and Avtar had been friends for nearly sixteen years but something had changed since last year.He had been enlisted in the army.He had never felt so alive before,the morning drill,the voracious hunger after that,a pat on the back by Sahib.Everything was different there.It was not like his village where there was no discipline and no rules.He had taken a liking to the officers in uniform,their presence,their style,everything about them was magical.So enamored was he that everything else seemed to have taken a backstage.All he wanted in life was to be an officer,an officer of the Indian Army.
He would have to clear many hurdles before he became an officer.The war would change everything.

Rudra woke up early next morning,he exercised,had a bath and sat down to eat his favorite food,poori aloo."I am going out,I'll be late."he shouted as he washed his face."Where are you going?" asked Banto."Nowhere special,just want to see the village again."he answered back."Well make sure you take Avtar with you,I don't want you wandering in the village after dark alone.Its not safe anymore."said his mother.

He thought about asking Avtar but then decided against it,he was always chattering and his conversations were dull and boring.He walked to the edge of the lake,hands in his trouser pockets,humming a tune when he suddenly saw a swarm of fireflies near the edge of his village.Squinting a bit,he realized that it was not a swarm of fireflies that had caught his attention but rather what seemed like an angry mob carrying fire-torches.They were shouting slogans too but all that was inaudible.He sprinted back to his house,only to find it locked.Tense and worried he went to Avtar's house,"Oye Avtar,come outside,its urgent!!"
"Coming,coming there is no need to be hostile.When you have time,then you.........."he cut off seeing the white face of his friend.
"Listen this place is no longer safe,I just saw a mob approaching the village and they were carrying torches and shouting something.We need to get out of here,call your parents and your sister.I am going to find my parents and then meet you at the ghats."saying this he ran towards the temple which lay outskirts of the village.Panting like a dog,he reached the temple.Frantically he shouted his mother's name but no luck.Worried sick he turned to go towards his village when he felt a binding pain at the back of his head and everything went black..........................

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

India 1947

Lahore and Amritsar are burning,
Rage,anger,all consuming,
Who once, were brothers
are now thirsting for blood.

Is this the nation of my dreams?
Are these my sins?
I cry all night long
Yet the fire won't stop.

Gandhi,Nehru where art thou?
Stop this anger,burn me at the alter
My men are dying,
Blood is in my veins,yet.

I did'nt ask for this,
I meant no harm
I ask you all,
awaken humanity.before its too late!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

A Prayer For The Dead

I see the light at the end
But every time I take a step, it gets dim.



Friday, June 20, 2008

The Woes of Pakistan- Part 1

To me Pakistan is a lonesome,rebellious child on the sorry map of Asia.Constantly bickering with India,turning to the US for every small whim and fancy and trying to subdue its half mongreal subjects.Truly a country bessotted with in-house politics and international conspiracies.But one can't totally blame Pakistan for this sad affair.Its long standing position in Asia as an intermediator of organised terrorism and a safe haven of terrorists has further aggrevated its problems.The actual problem lies in its civil administrative and foreign policies.The whole Bhutto-Zia -Sharrif-Musharaff-Bhutto fiasco has further broken Pakistan's administrativate chain.Even Musharaff now with his ties with the US can't heal the cracked mirror of multiple failings.

What has saddened me most is the unfortunate assasination of Pakistan's most charismatic leaders- Benzair Bhutto.Rightfully called the Shehzadi,she had single handedly changed Pakistan's orthodox thinking into the new age modern ideaology that the country needed to make its position on the map.But she is now no more and Pakistan has once again in turmoil.For me nothing could be worse be that.Crying over her death won't make any change in Pakistan's ideology.Spiralling out of control defence expenditures and the heightened political instability.Its constant fear of Indian policies has caused it to become paranoid beyond the usual scale of international knick-knack.The recent crossfire from Pakistan is truly saddening and is concrete proof of its loose control over the infamous ISI.What is truly surprising is that Pakistan's domestic political woes are now rivalling its international problems.Uncle Sam is bending over quite a few times but the moment its back would begin to ache............rough times ahead,surely.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Powering the Underpowered

I look at my country and feel a profound sense of loss and elation,difficult to imagine but surprisingly easy to write.People say that the country is going to the dogs,I say it is being ruled by them in sheepskin.There are statistics to show that the country is rising,pshaw.There is no governance of any sort to facilitate growth on equal levels.The middle class income groups have risen and the upper middle class is thriving as usual but question will always come back to the lower segment of the society,the ones who losing the most yet gaining the least.They seem to be losing on all aspects namely:-

1) Loss of jobs due to rampant industrialisation on almost all fronts.
2) Automatic new age industries cutting down jobs on lower end.
3) Increasing prices.
4) Language being an important tool for any job.

The issue at hand is not whether India is rising but is it rising equally on all fronts?To ignore this problem would result in catastrophic end in terms of socioeconomics and humanitarian aspects.To give away all benefits of arising economy we must learn to prepare a database of equality and understanding.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Reading-essentiality defined

The love of reading books cannot be described in mere words not because words have failed me but because I simply cannot express the feelings I nurture for my passion of reading.Reading for me is not just a simple hobby,it is in fact a part of my very existence.To live life without reading books is like living life without a ray of sunshine.For many of my readers this may seem a bit on the exaggerated side but to feel what I feel is simply not possible for others to understand.The fact is that reading has become such an integral part of my life that I seem to have become addicted to it.Even if I don't have any book worth reading,I'll probably exercise my reading abilities towards the ever faithful newspaper.For me reading is as important as breathing itself.

In the next article my likes and dislikes about books

Friday, April 25, 2008


Arrogance, Pride and Vanity
The girl has some audacity
What does she know, how is she so sure
Just who is she to judge me?

Arrogance, Pride and Vanity
Roll them up, you'll get Darcy
Where has he lived and what has he seen
To think he can judge my country?

The smile from her eyes is ravaging
Can't find a thought to which she might agree
Rip me to shreds, over jokes she won't get
What a waste god had to make her so pretty

A fish out of water to say the very least
Scared to walk on the street, dirty his feet
Tries to fit in, it's a game that he won't win
He can wear our clothes but lets see him beat the heat

She'll point at you and laugh openly
Can't turn down a dance gratefully
She has her own mind, can be a bit unkind
Just try saying anything about her dear country

Why is he here, always staring at me
Never looking in deep to really see
He has made up his mind, we are poor and behind
And thinks we should behave accordingly

Arrogance, Pride and Vanity
The girl has some audacity
But why to I care, how this matters to bear
This desire to show her the real me

Arrogance, Pride and Vanity
Roll them up, you'll have Darcy
but why do I care, have this mad need to share
the centuries of magic that made me

The above words signify the conflict between Fitzwilliam Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet,the main protagonists of the acclaimed novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.Lyrical aren't they?The conflict between the two is as ethreal as the one between Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler.The two novels are connected in such a subtle manner that for the casual reader my words may not be more than nonsensical gibberish but I having read both of them about a hundred times or so seem to have discover the underlying connection.
What seems quite interesting is the parallel contrast one can draw between both Elizabeth and Scarlett.Both are charming,witty and most importantly have a mind of their own.Such traits are hardly seen now.The power of these characters are beyond human comprehension not simply because such characters have somewhat ceased to exist but even if they did,they would'nt be able to equal their fictional counterparts.Having said that it is probable that Scarlett and Elizabeth might exist somewhere but the proabablity of actually finding them is too less.
The streak of arrogance is present in all four characters,all are equally accomplished people and this in fact suits them.
A truly accomplished person today would be a union of Rhett Butler and Fitzwilliam Darcy.Believe me people,I am trying.....I am trying.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Dark Musings

The fact of the matter remains that I am confused beyond reason.The void is endless and I am not.It is infinite while I stand as a mere mortal.The pain is too much to bear,the fight endless and I seem to have exhausted my resources.The only thing driving me is the maddening optimism which I am destined to carry,for it is the only place I can dream of shifting my weight to.

I have a sense of profound internal conflict in me.The fight continues,I see no end in sight,The battle is tiring and history never sheds tears upon fallen warriors.I am not a fallen warrior nor intend to be one.The irony of the matter is sometimes course of events take a turn for the worse making you susceptible to the common man's sphere of life.It does bore you for a while to live life like a commoner but that too has its own uses(to be discussed later).I have often questioned myself on the kind of life I lead and the kind of values I believe in,there seems to be a major contradiction yet i am not surprised for I am always at the crossroads with myself;To be or not to be,eh.Yet I am not one of those whom you would associate with the term faint hearted.I endeavor constantly to set new goals for myself and fail without any shame.You would tend to call me a shameless jackass but that would'nt change my outlook towards life.I am what I am.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Middle East And OIL

Seen from a Middle Eastern perspective, the present global oil situation can be summarised within five major and inescapable trends:

1- The world's super giant and giant oil fields are dying off

2-There are no more major frontier regions left to explore besides the earth's poles

3- Production of non-conventional crude oil has been initiated at great costs - in Venezuela's Orinoco belt, Canada's Athabasca tar sands and ultra-deep waters

4- Even OPEC's oil production has its limits

5- No major primary energy rival can possibly take over from oil and gas in the medium term.

Adding up these five trends, one can envision a global oil crunch at the horizon most probably within the present decade. Unfortunately, however, the general public will not heed such a rational vision. And, even if it did, it would be loath to respond to the implied threat. In its defence, it should be said that many actors are constantly and consistently reassuring it: the press (even parts of the specialised press), most politicians, some international institutions, a couple of major oil companies and naturally OPEC. But this can only last until petrol stations post 'empty', natural gas supplies are suddenly shunted and, eventually, the lights go off.

Giving it more thought would probably burn more neurons than I can handle so I leave it the Princes and Politicians of the free world.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Foreign Policy

The new world order is changing and that too in every sphere of thought.But what is intriguing is the socio-political scenario,the sole factor why I am writing this article.To tell you the truth I am actually addressing the issue quite late.

America is stagnant with its pro radical views,Europe is making progress but that too cautiously,Asia is moving with great speed and Middle east is making commercial friends.Truly the world is changing.In addressing the issue from India's viewpoint I must confess that I may not be accurate in my writings but am surely well versed with our international standing.

India stands at crossroads today,as usual,either we go along with our commercial interests or we seek our political destiny.Either way half the world will stand against us.i think our safest bet would be too align ourselves with China and the Middle east.One grants us economic stability and the other financial.The Middle east needs someone in Asia and we need someone in middle east,best bet being Kuwait or Saudi Arabia.Saudi Arabia being a dominant controller will be difficult to win over but is entirely worth the effort.

India has various options in hand now but the question remains what shall it choose and how will it affect us in the long term?I don't give any answers but rather seek them.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Counteract Violence with Knowledge...educated yourself about the situation at hand and seek out peaceful, collaborative and empowering alternatives. Violence spawns from an attempt to recover what one believes was pilfered. Whether this was money, land, dignity, etc—violence is only a temporary fix to secure these lost assets and rational, intelligent avenues to make the self whole yield the most sustainable results.

Counteract Anger with Understanding...pause, listen and truly hear the angry voice. Anger is frustration and becomes louder because no one will listen. Often anger can be diffused significantly when given a passive audience. You do not have to agree with the position to support the human behind it.

Counteract Hate with Love...hate is toxic. And perhaps my answer is cliché, but in my personal experience...it is the only way. Every individual is human (with good parts and not so good parts) applying this ideology inhibits the reciprocation of this hate. Hating the hate gives it an excuse to hate more, but by loving the hate...the diseased cycle is starved.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Some Social awareness

The political system in India is slowly evolving to a vast exodus of bureaucratic power and ministry hounds.The Nehru-Gandhian philosophy has faded away and any speck left is surely gonna be gone by end of this decade.Not that I am spending sleepless nights over this but it is a disturbing piece of news.We talk of emergence of a new nation,of rising economies and (ha ha) of global standards while the majority of India is still lurking in dark shadows.The only bit of india that is actually rising is the intellectual elite--the real driving force behind an emerging nation.True the percentage is a small one and the situation is bleak yet the change is evident,Infrastructure in india is on a high,global brands have entered the indian market and lets not forget that in India,crore is the new lakh.

But sadly what about those states where famine and floods are still at large and farmer suicides are rampant.What is the government doing about that?Are government officials during the time of their induction told that "Make hay while the sun shines"?Guys fill up your tijoris but do spare a thought for the impoverished.The country's economic condition cannot stabilise unless we remove the disparity that is spreading between the classes and the masses.The situation will only worsen if money and power remain in the hands of select few.

The country should remember Gandhi's words-'True India lies in villages".It is essential we follow his principles or else we will be just a shiny metallic but a hollow ball.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

God and I

The gods have a gala time ruling me.They tinker with my emotions,my passions and my destiny.They make me worship them,throwing my existence into the meaningless warp of dark voids,forcing my cocky self to finally bow.

The blue gods are my favourite - one surrounded by gopis and the other symbol of truth.Both command a flurrying sheet of dark clouds over our heads.Imaginative no doubt,their command is charismatic yet humble.Few can achieve this exalted status and even fewer can inspire faith which is so assuring in its own self,like a phoenix's song.

The God of War and Weather fails miserably here.But he too is no less.His description,I must confess did capture my imagination.

"In Indra are set fast all forms of golden hue."

At the swift draught the Soma-drinker waxed in might, the Iron One with yellow beard and yellow hair."

"Fair cheeks hath Indra, Maghavan, the Victor, Lord of a great host, Stormer, strong in action.

"May the strong Heaven make thee the Strong wax stronger: Strong, for thou art borne by thy two strong Bay Horses. So, fair of cheek, with mighty chariot, mighty, uphold us, strong-willed, thunderarmed, in battle."

He no doubt cuts an impressive figure yet he falters

...the image of the Lord had been replaced by a mirror.
The irony
is that he indeed is a lord in his own way,yet even they are denied vanity.
Where dost I stand?

Friday, April 11, 2008

Internal conflict

Cursin screaming I wake up.
The demon bleeding my soul to come out.
It won't stop.
It won't fall and I will be annihilated.
Should I stop this struggle?
Will the void ever fill?
Stumbling on unknown paths,I question the divine master.
Time is less for he lurks inside me.
Will I fail or will he win?
Thorns manifest my plant for the bud is dead.

Now the time is right for drawing out my sword.
His blood will be my penance,

The battle has been won
He stands victorious
I lay slain
His eyes pity me
His gaze is cold,
He beckons me to life,his reward is my soul

I give in,
Now we are together
infused like scales on a snake
The venom has spread to my veins
Day is over
The sun has been banished
The night shall rule

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Rotting away

Life seems to be rotting away and I can't do shit about it.The only way out of this nonchalant lifestyle seems to short stories and timbaland remixes but they too seem to be running out.So I have decided to start developing mah taste for trance muzic.I am goin freakin crazy so might as well take down some numbskulls with me.That means you

Thursday, February 7, 2008


A New York club owner has his club raided by cops one night, the catch is that one of the cops doing the raiding is his own brother. After his brother his sent to the hospital, he takes matters into his own hands to try and catch the ones who did it. His life then is turned upside down, as he must look over his shoulder at every turn, or turn the tables on those after him.

I wasn't all that interested in "We Own The Night". Granted it had a good cast, a competent director and a decent story line, the trailers just never grabbed me. Nevertheless I gave it a try and it is exactly what I thought it would be, a decent film with great acting and good directing. "We Own The Night" is no "Departed", which is what many people will compare this to, as it came out the year prior and bare similar plot scenarios. "We Own The Night" is a decent film that can stand on it's own, but it's lackluster ending and stages where it drags on a bit stop it from being a film that might be remembered years from now.

Bobby is a night club owner and his brother, Joesph is the cop that raids his place. Joesph is after one man and one man only, Vadim. Vadim decides to send this cop a message and has him killed, but Joesph survives the attack. Bobby decides to take matters into his own hands, go undercover and stop Vadim from his drug running. Things don't go as smooth as planned and then we have a big shoot out in the drug building. This scene, along with a unique car chase scene later on, stand out as highlights in a film that is mostly talk. The car chase is unique in it's own right because most of it is done within the car, only briefly going outside to show the viewer where they are headed. It's pouring rain and the one sound that you cannot help but hear it the windshield wipers going back and forth, trying to give us a clear view of what's going on, but it's never clear enough for long.

Bobby is the main character, played by Phoenix with Wahlberg playing the brother, in a more supporting role. Eva Mendes and Robert Duvall round out the rest of the cast, both hold up well with what they have. Surprisingly Mendes, who has a real performance here. She genuinely loves Bobby and doesn't want to see him get hurt. Duvall, the father, always liked the one son more then the other, mostly because the son was following in his footsteps. With the small screen time both characters have, they manage to change drastically. Both in the opposite direction, one grows closer, while the other further apart. Wahlberg does well with his role, he doesn't have any material to work with, other then to be angry here and kind there. This film belongs to Phoenix.

A powerful performance is in the film and Phoenix delivers on every level. Bobby is a complex individual, we never truly know what he is thinking or believes. He is rolling with the bad guys and tells his family to screw off, yet will run to their aid when needed. Phoenix delivers this performance, mainly through his eyes. In one particular scene he is told about his brothers attempted murder and the man telling him is the man who did it. Phoenix plays both sides of the spectrum perfectly well, hiding his true emotions to the other character, yet showing everything to the viewer.

Gray uses light and sound to his advantage here. When one character dies, the main thing we hear is silence, with the exception of the rain hitting the floor. Gray also likes to use hallways, for instance, when Bobby is about to enter the drug operations room. He travels down a dark a brooding hallway, into the darkness he goes, into the danger that lies ahead. The film is never too bright, or too dark, it has mid grays and blues throughout. It's set back in the 70's and this feeling achieved right from the opening pictures.

The final climatic showdown is what brings this film down a notch. A good premise with bad execution is what happened. Two characters are traveling through a marsh field, one is after the other, the suspense is building...then we all of a sudden stop and set the marsh on fire. We are waiting for this one guy to come out and give up, all suspense is gone, but then Bobby decides to go back in, so we are suppose to go back in with him. They've already brought us in and taken us out, now they want us to go back on this journey with them. The second time we enter, the suspense has settled and the scene doesn't last long enough to try and rebuild it. It's over before it begins. Some plot holes also hurt "We Own The Night", like how some people know they are brothers, yet others have no clue. It would seem like someone would have known something beforehand.

All in all "We Own The Night" is a good film, I can recommend it to you. It has great performances, especially from Phoenix and good directing. IF the story was a little tighter and the final ten minutes more suspenseful, "We Own The Night" would be one everyone's top ten list, instead it might have to sit at the next number out. Which is a shame, cause this film is worthy of praise.