Monday, June 14, 2010

Est queadam fiere voluptas (There is a certain pleasure in weeping.)

The first thing he noticed about her was her hair.She had her hair cut in layers with razored edges and sported long fringe bangs that she kept partially swept to the side and out of her eyes. She seemed to enjoy the purposefully styled messy look, which accentuated her kohl lit eyes.Her face was impassively beautiful,reminding him of frigid lakes he had seen when he was in St Petersburg,where a thin,almost invisible sheet of icy layer stopped every and any ripple that dared its presence.He was magnetically drawn towards the nape of her neck where a single mole rested languidly,oblivious of the effect that it was causing on a stranger's heart- his heart,a matter of fact.Slowly he averted his gaze,finished his single malt and casually walked over to the bar to order another,forcing himself not to turn back to gaze at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
 This is love,he thought,this is what it feels like.The maddening pace of his heart,bursting with euphoria of life itself,the cold sweat slowly trickling towards the back of his neck and the way his eyes had begun to sparkle.He felt strangely alive and had an inexplicable desire to laugh out aloud.For the first time in life he actually wanted to live with gay abandon and break all rules.Suddenly he understood why people took risks,why boys drove fast cars and girls broke rules,it was the majestic and grand feeling of being reckless-he was recklessly now in love with a woman whose name he did not know yet.

As shadows danced,the evening began to quickly pass.He thought several times of going up to her and talk but he couldn't muster the courage.It was simply impossible for him to go up to her say something and equally difficult to stand there and do nothing.All his entire life he never had any hesitation talking to anyone,he had charmed Councilors,smooth talked his way out of everything and even courted impossible women but today his tongue was dry and his palms sweaty.He was probably nervous for the first time in his life and it actually felt weird.He went over to the bar and ordered another Scotch.As the bartender poured a shot over two hazy cubes, he suddenly stiffened as he saw her standing right next to him.A faint scent of cedar and leather wafted towards him and he instantly recognized it as Anais Anais,a rare delightful fragrance, after all women fragrances were nothing new to him.He slowly turned his head as she walked away,hoping to steal another long amorous glance when he suddenly felt someone tugging at his leg,

"Daddy,mommy is looking everywhere for you",said Nysa tersely,his seven year daughter.

He affectionately picked her up and gave her a loving peck on her forehead.Then he set her down,let her wrap her small tender hand around his finger and lead him back to her mother,back to his wife and back to his loveless marriage of nine long years.He longed to look back and gaze solemnly at the woman with whom he had fallen in love with but he continued walking with a heavy heart under the leaden sky.