Divide

Great ambition and conquest without contribution is without significance. What will my contribution be? How will history remember me?Or will it ever remember me?I am haunted by these questions,each night is a blur of dark visions,of dark musings,ha.I could do more then that.Each time i reach a place,i find footsteps already there.My loss is in my heart,in the dark blanket of my soul.I desire all that exists,all that is pure and for mine to taking.All these words i don't just say,i need them all,i need to win and i will self destruct if i don't.I am a bottle bubbling with narcissism,my doom shall overtake my glory.

I walk alone
they say with a swagger

I hunt alone
they say i am an animal

I stand divided
my heart coiled

Re-Birth

I know i don't say it,
but i hope that you know
that if i could ever love
then you are the one

Words fail me
when i look in those deep eyes
my mask slips
and i stand bare

You have changed me
you have set me free
I was wrong
in hiding myself
forgetting that;
true beauty lies in the free butterfly
while all this time
i lay as a cocoon

Now the time has come
when love shall set me free
when the breeze shall blow again
when birds shall chirp again

And I owe it all to you

Mirror

Mirror,Mirror on the wall
Who is this,the most similar of all
She knows me well
She knows it all

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Who is this,who knows it all?

I haven't met her once
Nor heard her voice
But someting tells me
I too know her all.

She is same as me
thats the real reason of my glee
She seems nice
would'nt care less even if she had a vice

Oh mirror mirror on the wall
This seems like happiness
even if a bit small.
Oh mirror mirror on the wall
don't play with me
Just tell me all

Final walk

The flame was lit
the word had spread
my cuffs were blue,my wrists were red
my crime was none i could remember

i smiled at my men
they let out a howl
i smiled with a twinkle
and darkness eloped me

the crowds fell silent
for i had broken the glass
shards had flown
and blood had flown

Judas had been quick
escaped without my blood
i had lost my body
but the curse was lifted

i now walk to death
hand in hand with my glory
i shall lose the last of my breath
but a thousand more shall finally breath

To Have Succeeded

To laugh often and love as much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give one’s self;
To leave the world a little better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch,
Or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived

This is to have succeeded.

Rudra-The Beginning

Rudra was born on a sleepy morning in the quiet village of Jhang.His birth coincided with the start of the holy month of Ramadan.Sweets were distributed in neighboring houses and fire crackers were burst.His mother Banto Kaur was a famous singer and often sang at village festivals,her popular song Mera Pind always resulted in a standing ovation so it was no surprise when half the village turned up to congratulate her.Naming her son Rudra was not her idea but her husband had insisted.Gurcharan was a soldier in the British Indian Army and was a hulk of a man.Once during war,a fellow company man by the name of Rudra Kumar had saved his life by taking a sniper bullet.That one act of heroism had made Gurcharan a better man and he decided to name his son Rudra after the great soldier.

Rudra grew up to be a handsome young boy and was enlisted into the army by his father when he turned sixteen.He joined the the 16th Rajputana Rifles and began his way into the world.The year was 1946.India would be independent in an year.

Rudra:"Oye Khotya,Don't waste bullets.Atleast kill one without using up the whole magazine."

Avtar smiled sheepishly and answered,"Not everyone can shoot like you ."

"Well then there is no need to come hunting with me,you only distract me and i wish to enjoy my holidays in peace." answered Rudra to his childhood friend.

"Trying to behave like an officer already,well as you please,I am going."

Rudra and Avtar had been friends for nearly sixteen years but something had changed since last year.He had been enlisted in the army.He had never felt so alive before,the morning drill,the voracious hunger after that,a pat on the back by Sahib.Everything was different there.It was not like his village where there was no discipline and no rules.He had taken a liking to the officers in uniform,their presence,their style,everything about them was magical.So enamored was he that everything else seemed to have taken a backstage.All he wanted in life was to be an officer,an officer of the Indian Army.
He would have to clear many hurdles before he became an officer.The war would change everything.

Rudra woke up early next morning,he exercised,had a bath and sat down to eat his favorite food,poori aloo."I am going out,I'll be late."he shouted as he washed his face."Where are you going?" asked Banto."Nowhere special,just want to see the village again."he answered back."Well make sure you take Avtar with you,I don't want you wandering in the village after dark alone.Its not safe anymore."said his mother.
"Fine"

He thought about asking Avtar but then decided against it,he was always chattering and his conversations were dull and boring.He walked to the edge of the lake,hands in his trouser pockets,humming a tune when he suddenly saw a swarm of fireflies near the edge of his village.Squinting a bit,he realized that it was not a swarm of fireflies that had caught his attention but rather what seemed like an angry mob carrying fire-torches.They were shouting slogans too but all that was inaudible.He sprinted back to his house,only to find it locked.Tense and worried he went to Avtar's house,"Oye Avtar,come outside,its urgent!!"
"Coming,coming there is no need to be hostile.When you have time,then you.........."he cut off seeing the white face of his friend.
"Listen this place is no longer safe,I just saw a mob approaching the village and they were carrying torches and shouting something.We need to get out of here,call your parents and your sister.I am going to find my parents and then meet you at the ghats."saying this he ran towards the temple which lay outskirts of the village.Panting like a dog,he reached the temple.Frantically he shouted his mother's name but no luck.Worried sick he turned to go towards his village when he felt a binding pain at the back of his head and everything went black..........................

India 1947

Lahore and Amritsar are burning,
Rage,anger,all consuming,
Who once, were brothers
are now thirsting for blood.

Is this the nation of my dreams?
Are these my sins?
I cry all night long
Yet the fire won't stop.

Gandhi,Nehru where art thou?
Stop this anger,burn me at the alter
My men are dying,
Blood is in my veins,yet.

I did'nt ask for this,
I meant no harm
I ask you all,
awaken humanity.before its too late!!

A Prayer For The Dead

I see the light at the end
But every time I take a step, it gets dim.

HE WAS A DYING A SLOW DEATH,TORN BETWEEN PAIN AND GRIEF ,TRYING TO STAY AFLOAT IN THIS WORLD.
IT WASN'T LIKE HE DID'NT KNOW THE TRUTH BUT STILL,IT BLED TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
HE PLANNED TO MAKE IT ALRIGHT BUT THE ROAD WAS LONG AND HE WAS TIRED.
SO MANY THINGS HAD GONE WRONG OVER THE YEARS,WOULD HE ABLE TO SOT EVERYTHING OUT?
HE BELIEVED IN HIMSELF BUT BEYOND THAT YOU COULD'NT FIND ONE VIRTUE ON HIM.OFTEN,THAT FEELING OF CONTROL ALSO LEFT HIM AND HE BROKE DOWN.THE CYCLE WAS ENDLESS,LIKE A CHAKRAVYOOH WHICH ONLY ARJUN COULD BREAK,BUT SADLY HE WAS NO ARJUN.AT THE MOST,MEREST OF A MORTAL.
HE DREAMT ABOUT CONQUERING THE WORLD BUT HA.................LOOK AT HIM NOW,FIGHTING BATTLES OF NO VALUE AND LOSING EVERYTHING SLOWLY BIT BY BIT.
I HAVE COME TO PITY HIM BUT IF ANYTHING CAN BE DONE,THEN HE HAS TO DO IT.NO ONE ELSE WOULD STAND FOR HIM.....BY HIM.I CAN'T STAND HIS DEATH,HIS FAILINGS.IT HURTS ME THE MOST,HE KNOWS IT,HE WANTS TO HELP YET I AM AT A LOSS TO SAY THAT WHY HE DOSEN'T STAND UP.HE HAS BEEN ALWAYS A FIGHTER AND I WANT HIM TO FIGHT ONE LAST BATTLE ....................FOR HIMSELF,FOR ME.

I WANT HIM TO STAND UP STRAIGHT,TAUT AS AN ARROW,AND FIGHT THE WORLD ONE LAST TIME.

The Woes of Pakistan- Part 1

To me Pakistan is a lonesome,rebellious child on the sorry map of Asia.Constantly bickering with India,turning to the US for every small whim and fancy and trying to subdue its half mongreal subjects.Truly a country bessotted with in-house politics and international conspiracies.But one can't totally blame Pakistan for this sad affair.Its long standing position in Asia as an intermediator of organised terrorism and a safe haven of terrorists has further aggrevated its problems.The actual problem lies in its civil administrative and foreign policies.The whole Bhutto-Zia -Sharrif-Musharaff-Bhutto fiasco has further broken Pakistan's administrativate chain.Even Musharaff now with his ties with the US can't heal the cracked mirror of multiple failings.

What has saddened me most is the unfortunate assasination of Pakistan's most charismatic leaders- Benzair Bhutto.Rightfully called the Shehzadi,she had single handedly changed Pakistan's orthodox thinking into the new age modern ideaology that the country needed to make its position on the map.But she is now no more and Pakistan has once again in turmoil.For me nothing could be worse be that.Crying over her death won't make any change in Pakistan's ideology.Spiralling out of control defence expenditures and the heightened political instability.Its constant fear of Indian policies has caused it to become paranoid beyond the usual scale of international knick-knack.The recent crossfire from Pakistan is truly saddening and is concrete proof of its loose control over the infamous ISI.What is truly surprising is that Pakistan's domestic political woes are now rivalling its international problems.Uncle Sam is bending over quite a few times but the moment its back would begin to ache............rough times ahead,surely.

Powering the Underpowered

I look at my country and feel a profound sense of loss and elation,difficult to imagine but surprisingly easy to write.People say that the country is going to the dogs,I say it is being ruled by them in sheepskin.There are statistics to show that the country is rising,pshaw.There is no governance of any sort to facilitate growth on equal levels.The middle class income groups have risen and the upper middle class is thriving as usual but question will always come back to the lower segment of the society,the ones who losing the most yet gaining the least.They seem to be losing on all aspects namely:-

1) Loss of jobs due to rampant industrialisation on almost all fronts.
2) Automatic new age industries cutting down jobs on lower end.
3) Increasing prices.
4) Language being an important tool for any job.

The issue at hand is not whether India is rising but is it rising equally on all fronts?To ignore this problem would result in catastrophic end in terms of socioeconomics and humanitarian aspects.To give away all benefits of arising economy we must learn to prepare a database of equality and understanding.